Our newest office automation device. TGIF!

Photo credit: personal archives (think it was originally an advertisement)

Senate majority leader, Sen. Harried (Surrenderist, NV), unveiled today the latest DNC scheme to deflect blame for running away; make that the latest DNC plan for "ha hah hah heh, er, uh, mmmmm, victory, yes, that's it; VICtory, in Iraq!" Demanding "...that evil chimp, BusHitler better quickly sign the emergency war allocation of spinach and other pork products appropriations bill into law..." Harried noted that the $327.59 included for .45 caliber reloads was desperately needed by those "...military saps that got stuck in Iraq due to a lack of education."

Photo Credit: personal archives

Attorney General Grilled in Senate

Attorney General of the United States, Alfredo Gonzalez, invited to the Senate under the pretense of a social outing was grilled today by the Judiciary Committee. Senator Arlen Spectator (RINO, PA) is seen here "gently probing" 'Fredo for an admission of multiple crimes against humanity, politically motivated attorney firings, and the $250 dollar chocolate chip cookie recipe purchased from Neiman-Marcus.

Somedays You're the Windshield...

Dateline - April 18, 2007 - Washington DC

Democratic strategist James Carvelle distributed the Democrat's plan for providing health care for our returning veterans. Stating that they were spreading the "...inconvenient truth that things were going well in Iraq and that the media is manipulating the American public with a coordinated campaign of misrepresentation and DNC talking points. We believe that our plan will correct this problem."

Photo Credit: personal archives

Miche al'Moore Upgrades His Home

Miche al'Moore informed reporters today that he had completed renovations on his home. Mike reported that "...ever since I made those 42,863 'runs for the border' I've been somewhat taxing my sanitation facilities so I just decided to go ahead and 'supersize' everything dealing with the excrement I create."

Photo Credit: personal archives

Observations Following a Horrendous Event

If we'd have had better gun control laws, the massacre at Viginia Tech would not have occurred. By that I mean mandatory smalls arms training for every student and the right to carry concealed on campus. One or two armed students or teachers in the classroom would have lessened the effect that one lunatic could have when unable to be held accountable for his actions in a timely manner.

But stand by for the flood of anti-Second Ammendment activists to be screaming for even more stringent laws against ownership. Curious to me that a law proposing that concealed weapons permits be allowed on campus was voted down around a year ago. Therefore - VT is a model of the Brady Bill-ish effectiveness that is so highly touted by those who are against guns. (And, oh by the way, the only one that HAD a weapon was the individual with a blanket disregard for the written law and the sociopathic desire to use it... the law-abiding students, faculty and staff had no chance to defend themselves at all.)

I also note that there are already calls for the firing of the VT Chancellor, the Blacksburg Chief of Police, the Head of Campus Security, etc ad nauseum. People! The only jackass that was to blaim killed himself at the end of a deranged killing spree.

I know most of you are distraught and confused and seeking answers to "Why?" Grieve however you must for those you didn't know. And join me in prayer that those left behind can find peace.

Shrillary Clinton, seen here leaving Sunday morning Easter services, had no comment when questioned by reporters on why Bill had not attended with her.

On assurances of anonymity, a spokesman stated that he had been "cattin' around" for days and the Shrill was a bit testy over it. He further stated that "...while her bark is usually worse than her bite, it currently is reversed so I'd suggest not pushing the bea-yotch too far."

Photo credit: Fox Funhouse

Pop Culture Observation

Up front - my apologies for the rawness of the language about to be used. I neither use it myself, nor condone it. But a point needs to be be made. One of the following quotes made millions for the one who said it. One got the one who said it fired from a lucrative contract. One is upheld as a cultural icon, one is being lambasted in the press as a bigot.

Which is which?

Quote 1

[Voice talking] (*echo*)Yeah .. niggas wanna take care of these hoes.
Niggas wanna control these hoes. You can't control these bitches. These is independent bitches these years. You can't understand the 2000 in here? Motherfuckers wanna put they mack down. Wanna put they soder down. Let a bitch do what she wanna do. If she chose to ride wit a G, then let her ride wit a G. The bitch don't wanna sit back and be a housewife all the time.

Let the ho be what she wanna be; a real slut, and let the ho get on and make her money. You understand? I got a homey sittin' by me. Understand this nigga don't understand because he's a young nigga. You know what I'm sayin'? I'm been in the game since '85. And I know a ho don't do nothin', wanna play a nigga like 9 to 5, alright...

Quote 2

That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.

Quote 1 - Snoop Doggy Dogg, Rap Music Star - "Wasn't Your Fault"
Quote 2 - Don Imus, Radio Shock-Jock - program quote from April 4, 2007

Community leaders of all national origins, colors, races, creeds and religions - where is the righteous indignation over all offensive comments? If being thoughtless and offensive should get you pulled from the air (and many on the left seem to think it should in this land of free speech), then what about the music scene? No, this is not a black-white issue. Scrutinize C&W lyrics. Scrutinize R&R or R&B lyrics. For goodness sake; scrutinize Contemporary Christian Music and there is plenty that SOMEONE with an axe to grind can find offensive!

The point people is not that I find Imus or Snoop offensive (and I do). The point is that IF we are to have FREE SPEECH as formulated in the 1st Amendment, then those with offensive language have it as well.

If a crime is committed, prosecute.

If you don't like what a celebrity says, don't buy her/his product.

If you feel strongly, try to organize a LEGAL protest or boycott.

But don't go feeling all self-righteous when something someone says hurts, and your overly-sensitive feelings get offended. Just because your opinion doesn't agree doesn't mean the other individual should be gagged...

And, for what it's worth - NBC executives? If this warranted his being canned, why the heck didn't you do it 30 years ago? My guess is that Imus is no longer the money magnet that he once was, and you've just been looking for a reason to let him go.

Wonder Why Most Men Are Republicans?

Hat Tip - The Paperboy from any of a variety of online sources...

Before There Were "Car Swarms"

In the Arabian days of yore, before the infidels invented automiles that could be blown up in order to create a meeting place, they made do with camels-bombs. Aren't you glad that Speaker of the House, Nasty Pelosi, has taken it upon herself to open diplomatic channels with the Syrian contingent of this wonderful, peace-loving people?

Photo Credit: the usual Fun Pics source...

Bringing Up Father

Well, dad, your problem appears to be your continual confusion of ascii and html coding...

Photo Credit: Fun Pics

Global Warming Redux

al'Gore announced today that he had decided to run for President again, based on the adulation he received in Hollyweird. He also displayed the picture above as a pre-emptive strategy to dispute allegations that he was a flip-flopper ala John F'n Kerry. (The reading public will remember that al claimed it would take the above scenario to coax him into another go at the Oval Office.)

When asked about how he could square this occurence with his "Inconvenient Truth," al just smiled woodenly and suggested "the proper payment of carbon offsets..." He then kissed Tipper, and said "That should answer all questions..."

NO JOKE - Pelosi's Syrian Trip a Felony?

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi may well have committed a felony in traveling to Damascus this week, against the wishes of the president, to communicate on foreign-policy issues with Syrian President Bashar Assad. The administration isn't going to want to touch this political hot potato, nor should it become a partisan issue. Maybe special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald, whose aggressive prosecution of Lewis Libby establishes his independence from White House influence, should be called back.
The "Logan Act" makes it a felony and provides for a prison sentence of up to three years for any American, "without authority of the United States,"... Full article found at the Wall Street Journal.

Photo Credit: Drudge Report

Barbaro Boxer's Botox aBandons Her

Babaro Boxer, Queen of Botoxia, shocked the audience and her host on Late Fright with David Lettermen last night.

Encouraged to "give us a riff" after she boasted of her accomplishments on the guitar, Babs proceeded to pick up an axe and hit it hard. However, while she was doing a fret run into the highest ranges, the reverb apparently resonated with her recent botox injections and caused catastrophic failure of the botox's adherence to human tissue. This resulted in an instantaneous reversal of decades of injection therapy and a reversion to her true self. David later quipped that it "...was like watching the final act in the Dorian Grey movie, only far more hideous."

Hat Tip: The Drudge Report

And Then the Hive Mother's Second Mandible Extended...

Can't help it - all I can see is every scene from the "Aliens" series where the critter extends that second set of jaws just before going to town on an unwilling victim. Metaphor for what the Shrill intends to do to this nation or just frightening coincidence? YOU decide!

Photo Credit: Yahoo News via Jack Reacher

Speaker Pelosi Announces "Support for the Troops"

Speaker of the House, Nasty Pelosi, announced the newest version of the Democrat-controlled House "plan" regarding the troop deployment. "It is totally unfair of the right-wing media to throw out accusations that the DNP is anti-war and against the troops. We categorically deny this. In fact, we support the troops whole-heartedly;
The Iraqi-insurgency troops,
The Iranian troops,
The Hamas and Fatah troops (but only when they aren't killing each other),
The Syrian government-backed Hizbollah troops,
etc., etc., etc."

Photo credit - Drudge Report

If You Knew Sushi, Like I Know Sushi...

What's left to be said? The sequel will be very, very short!

photo credit - Fun Pics

Rudee Giuliani Campaign Releases New Symbol

Former NY City Moyel Rudee Giuliani's campaign headquarters have released the new campaign symbol. Says Rudee, "It's edgy. It's happening. It is difficult to get a straight answer on what it is saying. I think it sums up my candidacy nicely. "

Photo credit - unknown

What's A "RINO" You Ask?

ri·no /'rahy no/ – noun.
plural -nos, (especially collectively) - an acronym standing for 'Republican In Name Only.' Frequently found posturing as spokesmen/women for the entire Republican party - strongly encouraged to do so by the mainstream media. Frequently indistinguishable in policy from DNP politicians.

Excellent post on this RINO by Phil Harris at TownHall.com (and where the photo came from).