Monday, December 31, 2007

DNC's Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

Porker of the House, Nasty Pelosi (D - 'Frisco) informed a breathless Washington DC press corps of the Dem Party's chosen top 10 New Year's Resolutions for 2008:
1 - Do all those things we said we were going to do in 2007
2 - Call George W. Bush nasty names for our inability to do all those things we promised to do in 2007
3 - Get re-elected so we can do all those things we promised to do in 2007
4 - Remind you of all the things we promised to do in 2007 but the mean old George W. Bush wouldn't let us do
5 - Force General Petraeus to wave the white flag in Iraq by cutting all funding because it looks like we are dangerously close to winning
6 - Enact a transfer of all taxes to the upper 5% of income earners, instead of the 80% burden they currently shoulder (except for members of the Legislature of course)
7 - Outlaw Fox News and talk radio (except for NPR and Err America of course)
8 - Cover up the Democrat Party scandals from 2007 while high-lighting all the 2007 Rethuglican Party Scandals, promising all the while to make a difference in 2008
9 - Sign the Kyoto treaty and bring American capitalist pigs to their knees for violating the earth.
10 - Enshrine the Goreacle as the official US demigod and spokesman for all environmental issues, under the special blessings of Gaia (provided the ACLU doesn't mind).
Photo Credit: Fox News

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