Friday, June 29, 2007

Shamnesty Bill Fails to Pass Cloture Vote - HURRAY!


The Senate shot down the vote for cloture on debate for the Bush-Kennedy backed Shamnesty Bill. (Above you can see a voter aghast at the mountainous pile of pooh that they were trying to foist on the nation.) Thank goodness that the fence-sitters were swayed by the grassroots Bill-Kill efforts that told 'em point blank - vote for it, lose your job. But don't rest on your laurels, folks; it's only a matter of time until the next effort by the pols to morph those illegal aliens into lifelong DNC voters through the use of Shamnesty.
Photo Credit: Personal archives from the internet.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Pelosi's Pathetic Pucker-Up Path to "Peace"


A sad, sad, sad, sad, sad - did I mention pathetic? - commentary on the state of the DNC "leadership."
A spot-on political cartoon by Mike Shelton.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

No Joke - A Serious American Problem

Emergency services are battling a huge weight problem often with scales tipped against them as call-outs from tubbies in trouble rocket. Firefighters are struggling to cope with an increasing number of calls to move grossly overweight people.



The calls often come from paramedics who need extra manpower for the job and the North East Ambulance service today revealed it is getting two new specially designed ambulances to transport large people.

Gary Wilson, sub-officer at Cramlington fire station, said: "In hospitals they have proper hoists for this sort of thing, but in the confines of a home it can be a big struggle."

The sad thing is these grossly overweight people are usually in pain and they have to suffer the distress of being manhandled to get them moved.

Photo Credit: Digital Journal
Original post traces back to Evening Chronicle - Newcastle-upon-Tyne

Contest Heats Up For the "NEW Face of the DNC"

Howie the Duck announced today that the contest for the "FACE of the DNC" for 2008 has been winnowed down to two. Voters will decide between Shrillery Kkklinton and Osama Obama during the ne'er ending story of the once and future primary campaign of '06 through '08.

(Your editors couldn't tell which was which, frankly, so we leave it to our reader's discretion to attribute a name to each photo.)



Unspecified DNC Presidential Candidate 1


Unspecified DNC Presidential Candidate 2


Photo Credits: Bottom photo - breitbart.com and Top photo - Caption This!

Monday, June 18, 2007

What "Illegal Alien" Problem?


Teddy the Whale announced today that he had uncovered yet another co-sponsor for his revised, Amnesty-International-sponsored, immigration, er, ah, reform bill. Gene Roddenberry did not return calls regarding whether he approved of this shameless use of his intellectual property.
Photo Credit: Altavista photo search

Friday, June 15, 2007

You Just Can't Make Up Stuff Like This!


Actual photo from the Best of al'Reuter's Photos of the mideast for this week. Walling off the Gaza strip took away their favorite targets so what is a terrorist to do? Why start shooting rival faction terrorists, of course! I say let Hamas and Fatah shoot it out. Maybe even give them ammo to keep the lead flying...

Inspiration Comes From Unlikely Sources - Or Not

The first pic comes from Neal Boortz' "Redneck Scrapbook," the second is from the official site of the Bill Clinton library. Wonder where they got the idea for the "libary's" architecture?




Democrats Announce New Social Security "Fix"


Emboldened by the American citizenry's lack of push-back against their non-stop legislative onslaught to cause failure in Iraq and Afghanistan, Speaker Nasty Pelosi and Majority Leader Harried Reed announced a new "get well" plan for the US Social Security administrations funding woes. Said Nasty; "We are sick and tired of wealthy America taking the money from those who really need it." Added Harried, "We are eliminating all Social Security payments to anyone that doesn't have truly 'special' needs (except, of course, for current or former elected members of Congress or the Senate that are members in good standing of the Democrat National Party). Fat cats in the US should standby - we're gunning for YOU!"
Photo Credit: Jokaroo

TGIF


'Nuff Said.
Photo Credit: personal archives

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Liberal Lovin' Erupts


"You're Mike al'Moore? Er, I ah, thought you were, er, Rosie..."
"And you're Teddy K? I thought YOU were Rosie..."
"Aw hell, let's er, ah, just go for, er, ah, IT, anyways..."
Photo Credit: Fun Pics

Ya Want Mentos With That?



The Dali Llama is irate; American exports have led to a severe problem in Tibet. Coke Heads are running rampant throughout the country and have even taken over many traditional geisha houses.

Please help eradicate Coke.

(Truth in Advertising Regs require the admission that this spot was sponsored by PespiCo)

Photo Credit: Fun Pics

Oh Yeah? Well My Ogre ♣'s Obama


Llittle Llyspin' Llouie the Llama from St. Llouis has publicly come out in support of Teddy the Whale's favorite, Osama Obama. Shrillary Kkklinton is reportedly seething over the fickle nature of these pack animals and where they invest their spare funds. She was quoted in the Daily KOStard as noting "They all think alike, they all act alike and they all look alike; and you know what I'm talkin' about..."

Hat Tip: Michelle Malkin

Monday, June 11, 2007

Nothin' Up My Sleeve...


The Department of Homeland Security released a primer on mandated new boarding procedures for domestic airline security set to go into effect today. One of these procedures - acceptable attire - was inspired by the clear bookbags made popular after numerous school shooting incidents. "These now-mandatory, transparent vinyl outfits will make it nearly impossible for any terrorist to smuggle in a weapon of any type, and must be purchased at a licensed vendor in the airport/train/cruise terminal (profits to DHS)," said Director Michael Charts-off. "Of course this ONLY applies to the untrustworthy citizens of the US. A DNC delegation of the World-First and Peace at all Costs religion led by Nasty Pelosi, Harried Reed, Dick Turban, Teddy the Whale, and Arlen Specter demanded prior to inflicting this, er, revealing these policies to the public that we continue to enforce the religious freedoms enjoyed by followers of Islam. Therefore, 'splodey-dope women will still be allowed to wear burkas, not use picture IDs and we still plan to take their absentee ballots 'just in case something happens on the plane.' Undocumented aliens stumbled upon by accident wandering inadvertently across our southern border will be immediately released with a Social Security Card, $1000 and an apology provided they are wearing this outfit. If found wearing any other attire, they forfeit the apology."
Photo credit: email from Nikki

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Onion Asks; Did Phillip Phart?

From the looks of the expressions on the horse-faced royal family, Phillip must have dropped an S.B.D. that Mr. Ed would have been happy to claim. I don't think Agatha Christie will be needing to sleuth the answer to this one.

And speaking of the Royals, I heard that Jacko was looking for the return of his wardrobe...

Photo Credit: Unknown Source FW by Nikki

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Traveling

I'm taking a week for business/pleasure in the Pacific northwest. While my buds in the south are sweltering, we'll be enjoying some cool temps, and probably some rain (we've almost forgotten what it feels like down in the southeast).

Catch you in a bit.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Absolutely Unbelievable!

Holy Schnikees - Talk about BIG BROTHER watching.

Put in your cell number and see how quickly you can be located.

Whoever is familiar with this technology, please let me know how they do this.

A Few Little-Known Fred Thompson Facts:


- Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

- Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn't stopped wetting his pants.

- Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a Senator's heart and showing it to him before he died.

- Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Fred Thompson.

- Fred Thompson vows not only to win in Iraq but also to forcefully free Vietnam from Communism, thus giving America a perfect win/loss record for wars again.

- Fred Thompson can open clamshell packaging without the slightest trouble.

And my personal favorite:

- Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.

Tip of the Chappeau to IMAO

The Farmer's Donkey: A Cautionary Morality Story

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing:
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take another step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!


Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is but a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, and never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

NOW ............
Enough of that “we all can live together in perfect unity, tree-hugger, save-the-whales crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

Hat tip for the story: VG